Birds.

Good days are when we don't think, and I have done a fair amount of thinking today, if at the wrong time.

So it's time for me to introduce you to the pets. The birds. Okay, it's sunk in enough.

For those of you not familiar with Kiwi, she is a green budgie that we first observed at our bird feeder one day in the spring of 2004. Concerned as to whether a tropical bird born in a pet store could survive in the wild of Montreal West, we bought a cage for her and attempted to domesticate the creature that had been menacing our sparrows for weeks. When no one claimed her, we did. She was slow to accept us as friends, although with patience we found her to be smarter than we expected. Personality-wise she is somewhat like my mother and somewhat like me -- for she can be sweet, but most of the time she is just very strange. (More on that later.)

Last Saturday, my family came home with another bird. I flipped. Budgies are not lovebirds; they are perfectly happy on their own. However, they do stop talking to everyone else when they have a companion to chatter at -- I've seen her with mirrors. As well, we have no idea about this bird's gender, which could cause complications.

The new bird (which my brother has threatened to call Gregory) was set up in the living room before being transferred to my brother's domain. It was terrible. I fell in love with the little feathered thing right away. It had something to do with his oversized eyes. Far younger than I had ever known Kiwi to be, he is blue with a cute song and a timid nature. Somewhat like my brother, minus the blue and the cute song.

The two birds haven't met yet, and Kiwi is still the strangest budgie I know. This morning she was out of her cage for awhile before she landed on the table and began to investigate. Coming across a pile of cutlery, she had one of her inexplicable Bird Ideas. Before we could anticipate her diabolical plan, she was throwing forks at my brother.

And no, I have no idea how a bird tiny enough to perch on fingers can lift a fork, much less throw it around. But Kiwi's always been a bit of a mystery.

Memo: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!