Food OCD

I remember there used to be a commercial on when I was a kid. As is so common with advertising, I haven't the faintest idea what the product was...maybe cars or insurance or something. In the commercial, two executives in suits were standing next to each other; for some reason, they were holding slices of pizza. Then one of them paused, flashed a grin, and made an announcement that stirred my youthful soul.

'Crust first!'

He then proceeded to bite into the slice in exactly this fashion, and my little heart swelled as I gazed upon it. I, too, was a loyal and lonely devotee of that practice.

I've stopped eating pizza that way now, mainly because the older I get, the more I like the crust. But I still think we should have some kind of club. We could sit around a table and discuss our individual obsessiveness. Personally, I would always eat the crust, then begin at the point again and work my way through, but I've heard tell of those who start at the tip, then eat the crust at the halfway point. Everything goes in the Crust First Club.

Except people who don't eat the crust at all. They are the poor bastard children of the gastronomic OCD world.

And while we're on the subject: corn.

Hey, you knew it was coming up. I'm not actually picky about corn at all, but I know most of the world is divided over this issue. So what do you guys think: typewriter or spiral style?

My family has always believed that food should be an adventure. An adventure rife with urgency and peril.