But the Octopus is our friend.

Every year at band camp, we play a variant of Never Have I Ever as an icebreaker game. The group forms a circle, with one person standing in the middle. They then say something they have done or mention an aspect of their character, and everyone who has done or is the same has to switch places. The person left in the middle goes next.

I'm actually not too keen on standing in the middle. I have a blog to rant about myself already, and I'd rather find out about other people. Besides, I always manage to embarrass myself somehow, and scare off the few kids who've made the mistake of talking to me.

I did get stuck there once or twice this year, though. (Apparently there are only three people in the band who play the guitar.) On one occasion in particular, I made the careless blunder of actually divulging honest information about myself.

'I'm really, really scared -- no, I'm terrified -- of squid. They're freakishly smart, and they have ten arms...and here's the thing. Scientists just keep finding bigger and bigger squid. I mean, they don't even know whether they should be making new species, like colossal squid. Lots of people are afraid of sharks but I'm just scared of squid. So I don't eat squid, so that when they all rise up and take over the world, I'll have more of a chance with them.'

Empty silence. Not a creature stirring.

I suppose I should have stopped after the first sentence, but no one was stopping me from going on about it, and I don't think that would have helped me very much anyway. The ignorance of the masses faced with the obvious impending disaster is staggering, much as it has been throughout history. Only this time, the danger is much greater than ever before -- colossal, in fact.

xkcd agrees.

It's 2009 in Tokyo. What's the big deal?

Fruit + OCD = best job ever

Friends,

I have finally found my calling in life.

http://www.ediblearrangements.ca/

Also, chemistry was horrible.

The Suspender Strut: A Comprehensive Guide

Not a natural-born strutter? Interested in improving your moves? Want to pick up an old skill again after years of disuse? Suspender-style strutting may be for you! Fast and easy results even with no previous experience, guaranteed!

Materials:
-1 pair concrete or imaginary suspenders
-1 empty street or corridor free of disturbances

Begin by walking down the street as casually as possible, wearing suspenders. What we're going to do here is ease smoothly into a strut from a normal walking style. Some of my contemporaries suggest slowing down before the transition, but I believe that the strut is best perfected at a constant speed, seeing as that's what you'd want to be able to do eventually. Do NOT come to a stop, unless your intent is more to perfect the Suspender Stance. It is VERY DIFFICULT to begin strutting from a standing position, and this should not be attempted by beginners!

Moving into the strut should be natural and fluid. You should be angling your head a little in the moment before the transition, with a slight sneer to one side of your lips, but try not to think about it too much. Glance nonchalantly off to the side, then snap suspenders once, very deliberately.

You should immediately glide into an arrogant strut. Work on improving the expressivity of the walk until you feel comfortable moving into it in public, with or without suspenders.

Congratulations! You have just mastered the Suspender Strut! Watch this space for more walking styles in the future.