Discovering my addiction

"My addiction is popcorn. Last week, I didn't have popcorn one day, even though I felt like it."
Later....
"Kaj, you know the Who? You know Roger Daltrey? Don't you think that my finger looks like him?"

-Ariel

My Honour Band audition was unbelievably terrible. I mean, absolutely horrendous. I don't know how I got it into my head to try out, and I don't know why it had to be today of all days, when I didn't have my wooden clarinet (and I haven't played the other one in weeks). I don't know why I had to completely blank, especially since (as I explained) I could hear the music in my head. I could hear it, but (for once) my fingers weren't moving fast enough. Ms Purdy says that most people have to play the piece to be able to hear the music, but I have to be able to hear the music to play the piece...and I suppose I don't do well under pressure. (As we discovered later when I forgot what I meant to say. Again.)

"A valiant effort, Anne."

As I was leaving (and thank you Alanna for waiting!), an unruly thought slipped into my mind. At least I can blog about this. I was immediately ashamed, but it kept bugging me all afternoon, and eventually I gave in. I don't think I would ever be able to quit, even though I know I should.

Also: I missed dance class!!!! I was jumping up and down in the hallway.

Okay, I promised myself I would do this. Just for a little while, until exams are over. I'm not even trying to quit; I'm only going to cut down a bit. Just until exams are over. I can do this.

Expect me to write all summer long.

What keeps us plodding? People who care about us.